T-Minus 4 Days

House is packed. Movers come tomorrow. We fly out in 4 days. 

Staying Level

The regular “temperature checks” have been helpful. Seeing where the other is at for stress (both hovering between 6/10 and 8/10) informs when we need to calm each other down, otherwise we may break our relationship rule of “only one person can panic at a time”. Several times a day we ask each other if we are crazy, if we know what we are doing, and if we are really doing this. The excitement is there, but its muddied beneath the seemingly endless to-do list, largest amongst it is, move all our possessions into a storage space that seems too small, sell Jean’s motorbike, ensure we bring the right amount of stuff on the flight - where we balance the luggage costs, outfitting costs, and fitting the luggage in the rental car as a hour drive to the marina eliminates the possibility of more than one trip. 

Goodbyes

On top of the logistics, the last two weeks have been full of visits and goodbyes, and several have been heart wrenching. There are still a few to come and I try to hold the knowledge that we can be excited and sad at the same time, though it is of little comfort in the moment. We also know that its harder for those that stay. We will be busy with newness. Things to do, places to go. Back home is the beauty of routine - I truly mean that - but when the people who are part of that routine are absent its extra difficult. Jean and I will have very few moments where we are off the grid, but certainly its different. 

Fatigue

The prep for this adventure and now the execution of it all has been more than we bargained for, and with the stress high and sleep elusive, fatigue is setting in. The last two days have me thinking of offshore sailing - crossing a large body of water that requires 24 hour sailing and the crew on a watch schedule - how do I stay alert for that when I can't stay focused right now? My one and only time offshore sailing was a 40 hour passage and I was dog-tired, but even with the fatigue I felt I performed well, so maybe its a completely different thing.

The Dream

The picture I keep in my head is waking up in the morning somewhere warm, jumping in the water for a quick swim, then enjoying coffee in the cockpit before deciding what to do for the day. Its beautiful, calm, and warm and, I am wearing my new linen shorts (yes, I sewed them myself), and sunglasses, just enjoying the tranquility of the moment. 

I’m keeping this picture alive and well, because when we arrive at the marina in Connecticut the boat will have snow on it. A far cry from my picture, but definitely part of the adventure. 

And there is a a not insignificant part of me that takes great satisfaction in the 'hardcore-ness' of shoveling snow off of a sailboat.